A mom-to-be from Iowa has been praised online after setting boundaries for her eager family members before she gives birth.
The 30-year-old, who asked to remain anonymous, posted two photos on TikTok: an image of her Apple Watch that displayed a heart rate of 159BPM and a screenshot of the text message that she and her husband sent, detailing their thoughts to visitors “during this special time.”
The text overlay read: “POV: you’re a people pleaser who just sent out the first round of boundaries regarding your baby.” The mom-to-be who works in risk management, told Newsweek that the couple want to prioritize a calm and stress-free environment prior to giving birth.
@klole00
“We have a lot of family members who are very excited to meet our son when he arrives. My husband and I know that if I feel overwhelmed by people eagerly waiting, it can cause me a lot of stress and can delay labor and recovery,” she said.
Drafted with the help of ChatGPT and then edited by the expectant mom to add clarifications, the couple decided to send the message to all immediate family members on both sides, including moms, dads, brothers and sisters. “We knew we needed to send out some light boundaries so everyone wouldn’t travel a few hours and try to fight to see him first or all at once,” the 30-year-old said.
Given that the baby would be born during peak respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) season, she emphasized the importance of managing visits to reduce the risk of illness: “There [are] too many chances of him getting sick from so many people. We want to schedule visits to not feel as overwhelmed and try to keep baby safe.”
At 35 weeks pregnant, the decision to send out boundaries was not an easy one for this mom-to-be, who is a self-described “people pleaser.”
“It has always felt easier for me to feel uncomfortable or unheard, rather than to chance making anyone else upset. We have multiple family members [who] express big emotions, and it’s scary and uncomfortable to bring up possible differences with them,” she told Newsweek.
Since being posted on November 8, the clip has clocked up one million views and over 500 comments, many of which were in support of @klole00.
“This shouldn’t even have to be said. Proud of you. Stand your ground,” one user wrote. User @pressiee encouraged the mom-to-be to “keep true” to herself and newborn baby, while another took inspiration from the post, sharing that they were going to screenshot the message as they plan to send something similar.
The mom-to-be told Newsweek that she had received a lot of support from other moms who had gone through a similar experience: “I have read multiple stories of family members that get so upset with these boundaries that they do not want to be around the child’s life anymore instead of respecting the boundaries.”
Another user shared how she keeps getting told that the boundaries she’s set for her family will tear them apart. @klole00 simply replied: “Your baby, your rules.”
