Jennifer Lopez gives the first interview after her divorce: “Being in a relationship does not define me” | People
The rumors that had been circulating for months were confirmed on August 20, 2024. After Jennifer Lopez (The Bronx, New York, 55 years old) and Ben Affleck (Berkeley, California, 52 years old), once inseparable, had not appeared for some time together in public, things for the marriage looked bad and ended as many suspected it would end. Finally, Lopez filed for divorce from the actor on a special date that did not go unnoticed by the press and Bennifer’s followers: it was what would have been their second wedding anniversary. What became, without a doubt, the pink news of the summer put an end to this fairy tale with Hollywood brilliance about second chances (Lopez and Affleck already had a high-profile romance in the early 2000s, which also failed) and true loves. Nothing is forever.
But the one from the Bronx doesn’t seem to be having such a bad time. At least that’s what she herself confirmed in a recent interview in Interview Magazinewhere he talks openly with the comedian and podcaster Nikki Glaser. The excuse was to chat about his latest film project, Unstoppablewhich the actress presented in September with the cast at the Toronto International Film Festival, but the conversation went much further. And the singer also did not take long to open up about what these last few months have meant for her: “This summer, I had to say: ‘I need to go away and be alone. “I want to prove to myself that I can do it,” she explains in the interview.
She also admits that, in those moments, she felt “alone, strange, scared and sad.” The artist, in her journey of self-exploration, recognizes that it is important not to ignore all those feelings: “Suddenly, you sit with them and think: ‘These things are not going to kill me,’” she explains, “and I can feel joy and happiness for myself. Being in a relationship does not define me. I can’t keep looking for happiness in other people. I have to find happiness within myself. I used to think I was a happy person, but I kept looking for something that someone else could fill. Because all my life I have thought that I am not enough.”
Born in the Bronx neighborhood in 1969, she was the second daughter of a couple of Puerto Rican immigrants, David Lopez and Guadalupe Rodríguez. Later, her parents had another daughter. Lopez admits in this interview that, possibly, her need to please others comes precisely from there: “It was simply the fact that they ignored me, that I was the middle child, that I had a very outgoing mother and a father who worked all day. all day and all night, and feeling that it was not important, that it was not a priority,” he now acknowledges, ensuring that this behavior has accompanied him for years, also in his romantic relationships. “You don’t even realize it until those things start showing up in your actual adult relationships: ‘Oh, I’m comfortable with this person ignoring me. I feel comfortable with this person treating me this way or that way.’ That, for me, has been a journey. “I think my whole life I’ve been trying to say I’m good enough, until I’m where I am now, when I know.”
Jennifer Lopez has been married four times. Her first marriage occurred in 1997 with the Cuban businessman Ojani Noa, whom she divorced just a year later, in 1998. In 2001, she crossed the altar for the second time, this time with the dancer Cris Judd. Also, a year later, they divorced. It was at this stage that she began her relationship with actor Ben Affleck, with whom she became engaged for the first time in 2002, but whose wedding was canceled a few days before its celebration. At that time, and later, both maintained that the failure of their relationship was due to the enormous media pressure placed on the couple. In January 2004, they announced that they were no longer together. And that same year, Lopez married fellow singer Marc Anthony, with whom she had two children, Maximilian and Emme, born in 2008. In 2011, the couple announced their separation and in 2012 formalized their divorce. The artist’s fourth marriage was to Ben Affleck.
“Something that scares me or confuses me is the fact of thinking: ‘No one could love me if I have flaws. I have to be perfect to be loved.’ And that’s not true!” the actress now says in her recent interview. “Someone who loves you will help you heal all those parts of yourself. That’s what I’ve learned about love, that it’s something that gives security. You will make me feel safe and, even if I am not in glory, you will understand me and help me grow to be better.”
And after all this learning? Jennifer Lopez is clear that she no longer needs to be in a relationship to feel complete: “I’m not looking for anyone,” she acknowledges. “Did you know? Romantic people, who love being in a relationship and want to grow old with someone, think, ‘I have to have that to feel complete and happy.’ And it is not like that.” That’s your advice.
