Key events
70 min: Everton substitution Armando Broja replaces Dominic Calvert-Lewin up front.
70 min The resulting corner is a shambles, totally wasted.
69 min A good Everton break almost leads to a second goal. Harrison runs Gvardiol and stands up a very deep cross towards Doucoure. He twists his body to sidefoot a volley that hits Lewis and dribbles just wide of the near post.
68 min City are starting to stir from their post-penalty slump, though they’re still a million miles from their rhythmic best.
66 min Haaland receives the ball in the area and tries to go past Branthwaite, who stays on his feet to make a calm tackle. Moments later Savinho curls a fair way wide from the right side of the area.
64 min Coleman plays an early pass up to Calvert-Lewin, who tries to run the last man Ake. For a split second it looks like he’s away but an imperfect touch allows Ake to slide in and knock the ball back to Ortega. Crucial defending.
63 min “This match is all squeak and no bubble,” says Lee Woodard. “Haaland is the fashionable Christmas toy everyone wanted a few years back but now realise it’s made playtime a bit boring and samey. Time to put the big toy back in its box and find the fun again.”
I’m all for an extended analogy but that feels more than a little harsh on Haaland. The old quote about failure being an orphan doesn’t apply to this City collapse.
61 min Kevin De Bruyne, who has had a touch of flu, is warming up. Bernardo Silva rakes a drive from 25 yards that is booted away.
59 min That penalty save has winded City, who had started the second half really well. This is so weird. I can’t think of a single precedent, certainly in English football, for a truly great team collapsing like this. Man Utd had a shambolic spell in November and December 2001 but they didn’t lose nine in 12.
57 min Calvert-Lewin wins a header to find Ndiaye, who leaves the ball behind on the edge of the area but reacts quickly to return it to Calvert-Lewin. He tries to nip past Ake, who sticks out a leg to make an important tackle. Had he misjudged that it would have been an other penalty.
56 min Haaland’s penalty was far from perfect, slightly scuffed and not in the corner. Still a very good save though. One day Jordan Pickford will get the recognition he deserves.
55 min “Thanks for manning the MBM presumably whilst dehydrated from excess Tin,” writes Paul McGrory. “The England-Albania radio lesson reminded me of a May afternoon in 1991. Ireland (in the same group as England) had a crucial Euro 92 qualifier at home to Poland, which kicked off at 3pm due to Irish rugby bosses not needing floodlights at Lansdowne Road. Big Jack mania was at its peak, and our German teacher could sense that the half-class who had bothered to turn up weren’t interested in the dative case, so he pulled his car up outside the portacabin and blared the radio out. We all got to enjoy the first half hour of a 0-0 snorefest that ultimately cost Ireland qualification. Bah.”
I have a vague memory of being at school for the 1-1 draw with England during the same campaign. Great story. You can imagine what the Sittingbourne under-16s brains trust made of Graham Taylor’s decision to omit Paul Gascoigne.
Penalty save! Disallowed goal! Scenes galore!
53 min Amazing. Haaland’s penalty was superbly saved by Pickford, diving low to his right. The ball kicked up and was headed across goal for Haaland to nod into the empty net – but he was a long way offside.
52 min Seamus Coleman is booked for playing silly buggers.
51 min: Penalty to City! Savinho, who has tormented Mykolenko at the start of the second half, beats him to a loose ball just inside the area and is kicked on the knee. A clear penalty.
50 min A deep cross is headed back by Haaland towards Savinho on the edge of the area. He whistles a half-volley through the crowd that is kicked away by Pickford, a good save as he must have seen it late. Kovacic then cracks just wide from 25 yards.
49 min Savinho beats Mykolenko again and crosses deep towards Haaland. It’s slightly too high for a header at goal so Haaland nods it back across the face and Everton clear.
48 min “What a contest,” weeps Paul Griffin. “Will the victor be this once iconic but now struggling side from the North West, which not so long ago had an almost unmatchable tradition of picking up trophies, but which slumped despite the largesse of a super-rich owner and access to crème de la crème La Liga coaching? Or will Manchester City pick up the points?”
I mean we all knew what was coming, but at least it was delivered with a bit of flair.
47 min Savinho sprints away from Mykolenko, who makes an important lunging challenge to concede a corner. Foden curls it onto the head of Gvardiol, whose flicked header is blocked by Harrison in the six-yard box.
46 min No changes on either side as City begin the second half.
“Everton seemed to have forgotten how to play football for 25 minutes,” begins Gary Naylor, “but once they remembered how to control and pass a ball, the lads have done well, probably shading it since then. There’s a feeling in the home crowd that Evertonians will recognise – an anticipation of an opportunity to moan and groan that so often brings it on. Next goal the winner?”
I’m probably not the best person to ask given I congratulated myself on six Fantasy Premier League points for Rico Lewis before the match had even kicked off.
Half-time reading
Half time: Man City 1-1 Everton
Another face-scratching half of football for Manchester City. They took an early lead when Bernardo Silva’s shot deflected in off Jarrad Branthwaite, and with Everton’s goalscoring record away from home it was tempting to think that was that.
It was not. Bernardo missed an excellent chance to make it 2-0, and a few minutes later Iliman Ndiaye flicked an excellent equaliser. It was Everton’s first goal away from home since mid-October. Strange times indeed.
45+1 min Harrison plays a neat one-two on the edge of the area with Mangala and lifts a cross that is headed behind by Gvardiol. Harrison’s inswinging corner is headed over by Calvert-Lewin, under pressure six yards from goal. Not a great chance, but a chance nonetheless.
45 min Now Foden, who has been increasingly excellent, has a shot from the left side of the area that is well blocked by Coleman.
44 min Foden’s corner is headed away to the edge of the area by Tarkowski. Savinho cracks a sweet half-volley that is blocked by one of the many outrushing defenders.
43 min Nothing comes of the free-kick. Coleman then gives the ball away from Bernardo near the byline and is rescued by Branthwaite, who belts the resulting cross behind for a corner.
42 min Doku is fouled just outside the area by Mykolenko, who gets a yellow card for his pains.
40 min Suddenly Everton fancy their chances. Ndiaye shuffles away from Lewis on the left of the area and hammers a cross that flashes behind Calvert-Lewin. That attack elicits a roar from the home crowd that is two parts defiance, two parts fear and fifty parts what-the-hell-is-going-on.
Iliman Ndiaye has equalised out of nothing. Doucoure’s cross from a narrow position on the right came at an awkward height for Akanji, who should nonetheless have cleared it. Instead it brushed his knee, which wrongfooted Lewis and allowed the ball to reach Ndiaye beyond the far post. He took a touch and poked an early shot back across Ortega and into the net. That’s a terrific finish, really clinical. But Akanji should have cleared the cross.
GOAL! Man City 1-1 Everton (Ndiaye 36)
Not again.
33 min: Chance for Bernardo! City should be 2-0 up. Haaland seized upon a headed clearance and gave the ball to Foden, who rolled an inviting square pass towards the onrushing Bernardo Silva. He was through on goal, with time for a touch, but decided to take the shot first time from the edge of the area with the outside of his left foot. It whistled just wide of the far post.
It would have been a lovely goal, and made City need a moment of swaggering brilliance to spark them, but it wasn’t the percentage option.
