A mom is urging partners of pregnant women to step up—and it requires little effort.
Melissa Desmarais, who is pregnant with her second baby, posted a public service announcement on Instagram to give men, in particular, a tip on how to help their wives and girlfriends through the wildness of pregnancy: by taking candid photos and videos.
In the video, Desmarais (@melissadesm) starts with a clear call to action: “If you’re pregnant, I don’t care if you’re in your first trimester, second, third, send this video to your partner. Don’t even watch the rest, just send it to them. Trust me.”
The second time mom explained that the whirlwind of pregnancy and childbirth often becomes a “blur” for those going through it, making photos and videos an invaluable way to preserve memories.
@melissadesm
She emphasized how partners, especially men, don’t always think to take these moments unless specifically prompted. Her instructions were crystal clear: “Take as many photos and videos of them as you can. Try to center them—don’t zoom. She can zoom after if she wants to. Bonus if you take the photo with the light shining on her instead of behind her. I know that might be asking too much,” she said in the reel.
Desmarais also acknowledged that her own partner wasn’t naturally inclined to take photos, but credited him for making the effort when she asked.
“My partner does not innately think to take candid cute photos of me but before I gave birth to my first baby, I asked him please try to think of it,” adding that she will decide whether to keep the photos or put them in the trash.
“Let me tell you, there was a lot of garbage. His finger was in a lot of the photos, but he took some photos and videos that I will cherish forever,” Desmarais said, cutting to an image of her holding her baby after she’d given birth in the hospital.
Last, but by no means least, she warned viewers: “Unless she asked, do not take any photos from this way,” motioning a phone underneath pointing up at her chin.
“And again, please stop zooming, she does not need you to zoom. OK, my work here is done,” she concluded.
Desmarais’ reel has clocked up over 560,000 views and over 21,000 likes. It seemed to resonate with many other fellow moms on the platform, some of whom added their nuggets of wisdom for partners.
“Don’t send them to any other family members without her consent!” one user wrote in all capital letters. “Thank you for doing the lords work here, due March 1st,” another commented.
